Some things in Hong Kong just don’t make sense, in fact a lot of things in Hong Kong are so completely,ridiculously outrageous that we find ourselves nodding along in agreement to newly discovered information like some sort of lab tested monkey.
A lab tested monkey that just paid an extra $10 for ice in their latte.
But I kind of like it.
So I thought I’d add some more useless facts to that part of your brain that convinces you to swipe right on Tinder even though you don't even find anyone remotely attractive and the part where you think playing Candy Crush is a good idea. While going up a escalator.
Disclaimer: Please stop reading if you are expecting to learn anything even slightly educational that you can use to impress one of those guys in fancy looking suits.
Without further a do I present to you 7 weird things about this city we call home:
1. Can I see your Dog Licence Please?
As if the ‘who has the most expensive dog’ trend in Hong Kong wasn't ridiculous enough you now have to have valid paperwork to go with your pooch. According to the Rabies Regulation, Cap. 421A dog owners must apply for a dog licence for any furry friend over the age of 5 months old to avoid a $10k fine.
**puts ad on geoexpat ‘4 month 29 day puppy for sale**
2. Remember that time we went to LKF and didn't drink’ said no one ever..Oh wait.
The founder of Lan Kwai Fong Allan Zeman has been TEETOTAL his whole life.
Yup you read that right. He has never got drunk. Ever.
He quotes: I just don’t see the point of people getting drunk. I like to have my feet on the ground. I don’t like to lose control.’
Well thank god we single handedly make up for his lifetime without booze on one weekend in LKF.
Hong Kong is the only known place on earth that can be pronounced without moving your tongue and lips.
Don't pretend you didn't do it. And are still doing it now.
Ok stop. I’m right about this.
4. I now pronounce you husband and wife, you may now kiss your Big Mac
Becoming the first city in the world to offer Mc Weddings (let's pat ourselves on our backs proudly) the ‘Warm and Sweet Wedding’ package can now officially see you as husband and wife in none other than your local Macca’s.
A wedding cake pyramid of apple pies and a wedding gown made out of pearly white balloons will greet you under the golden arches to cement your love for BigMacs, I mean each other, forever. Or until KFC do you part.
5. Oh for f#*c’s sake I just want to fly my kite at Ocean Park
Well bad luck. You can’t. And you can’t wear your roller skates there either! (dramatically tears tickets into shreds)
Ocean Parks bylaws state you can’t ‘use obscene language’ ‘shout’ ‘fly a kite’ or ‘ride or move on any device or shoe fitted with wheels’ in the park.
There goes my next Tinder date of rollerblading to Eminem on my boom box while flying my kite in Ocean Park.
6. Get on your horse
You know all those horses you see having a jolly good time around Hong Kong? (No, me neither) Well if their owner seems to have had a few too many glasses of the latest French wine and decides to ride to Marks & Spencer for a side of Brie he could be faced with a $250 fine en route. In other words it is illegal to have a drink and ride your horse.
Glad that law has been implemented in Hong Kong. Really useful one that.
7. Lets go to the beach, beach..
But don’t sing it while you’re actually sitting there. ‘Singing without permission’ on the beach can lead to two weeks in prison or a fine.
But fear not, all you budding Britneys and Biebers - as long as you write a nice polite notice informing HK you will be indulging in a bit of Niki Minaj sing-a-long then you can indeed ‘go get a wave and WHAT they gonna say’
Why is it I can’t help but love Hong Kong even more after discovering all of this irrelevant to everyday life, but pub quiz winnable information?
Excuse me while I gallop off on my horse to find the love of my life to marry along side Ronald.
Read more: Hong Kong travel guide