People's reactions on this recent trip to the Middle East have been very different from those I've experienced before. Maybe it's because I've just turned 28,(really?) maybe it is because I am travelling to countries known to be 'dangerous' all by myself, or maybe it's because something has changed within me. But almost everyone is asking me one of 3 questions:
- When are you going to start a family?
- Don't you want a relationship?
- When are you going to stop travelling?
And once presented with these questions one too many times, there's no wonder I have been asking those questions to myself too. But there's a pattern here.. These questions are all ABOUT THE FUTURE.
But then I realised something. Are these people asking me these questions because they are really intrigued or are they asking them to assure themselves that they did the right thing by doing all those things I haven't. I've been thinking about it a lot actually. About those 3 questions, and I've finally found the words to answer them, and maybe to help people realize it's ok to question our futures, but we really need to stop trying to predict them.
I am not invincible
First things first; who do you think I am? Of course I want to have relationships, of course I want a family. I am not invincible to the feelings of love and security. Just because I travel the world full time does that eliminate me from real people feelings? But I'm 28. TWENTY GOD DAMN EIGHT, and I'm kinda having the best time of my life right now. Can we take things slower? Do it at my own pace?
I have chosen this life as it makes me happy
We all have different dreams and desires, and I know a lot of people's are to have a family and 'settle down', but I think you know me by now. My controversial article last year "Fuck society, I'm doing life my way" gave you a glimpse into the way I look at life. For me, my life goals aren't to buy a house and start a family. I can't conform to this go to school, get a job, get married, have kids, retire, die, life that society somehow brainwashed us into thinking is the right thing for each and every person on this planet. I just can't. So, I've chosen the life of full time travel. Living from a suitcase, not having a 'home', being in un-comfortable surroundings, not understanding languages, moving more than staying still, not knowing where I'm going or what I'm doing. I've chosen that. If it didn't make me happy I would change it. Simple as that.
Am I scared of the future?
Sometimes, yes, I am scared of the future. I wonder if I will fall in love again, if I will continue to have good health, if I will be able to keep travel blogging and if I will ever have a family. Of course I worry about all these things, but I just have a different way of handling it. I KNOW I can't predict the future, so I let my current situation take me on a ride. A wild, crazy ride, and I let the future deal with itself. After all, none of us can predict what we will be doing next year, where we will be, and who we will be with, AND THAT IS SCIENCE. So why waste your time wondering, when you 100% know you cannot see into the future?
"You can't connect the dots looking forward you can only connect them looking back. So you have to trust the dots will connect somehow in your future"
I saw this Steve Jobs quote just a few weeks ago, and it's what spurred me on to write this article. For me, it made so much sense. Read it again. Relate it to anything in your life. How you met your partner, how you ended up being where you are now. Anything. It's true right? A simple sentence really can help you understand the completely uselessness of trying to look into your future. ENJOY THE RIDE. Enjoy the fucking ride. It's beautiful. It's meant to lead you off track, it's meant to make you run into some people and away from others. Stop wishing for things to happen in the future and start living like it could happen today.
And the answers to the questions? I think we've established they are not meant to be answered just yet.